Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Happy Fuckn Thanksgiving

Hippy Fuckn Thanksgiving
By Christopher R Rice


I'm the Priest of Hiroshima, the Santa, the Maria. I'm the great white hope. I bring all this to you, fall down on your knees and worship me. The white man discovered America and turned it into what it is today, one big strip mall from coast to coast. Now you all owe me. I raped your grandmothers, bought your granddaddy, now thank me. I saved you, brought you out of the jungles. I am the great white hope. Without me you'd have nothing. Everything you see, everything you use, everywhere you've been, it's all been made by a white man. We're the discovers and conquerors. We had to torture those jungle bunnies in Iraq to get into their savage minds. No one's as civilized as the white man is. Whites rape and torture but that's okay. Steal a white mans horse and meet my rope, boy.

A thousand white men raped your momma for her protection. Then we tortured Iraq, Afghanistan to bring them democracy. Now everyone, everywhere get down on your knees and worship me. You gooks and sand ni**ers owe me big time, I'm the police man of the fucking universe. I even bombed the moon, god damn it. And when I die I go straight to heaven because God loves me and God loves how I Napalm His planet, His people. God loves what I've done with this place, why wouldn't He accept me in heaven with open arms. I'm white and its all mine, get on your knees, worship me.

White is right. No Muslim jungle bunny and no girls ever discovered or invented a damn thing. It was all by a man, a white man. Don't believe me? Doesn't everyone regardless of race want a nice pretty white girl? Of course they do. And I've got 'em at a real good price too. Fresh off the boat. Sweeds, all sizes, all ages. Photos and video available. Already potty trained! Get yours before Donald Trump buys my whole lot again. Free shipping, anywhere in the universe.


I'll stay in Okinawa and Hamburg and I'll rape your teenage daughters but you better pay me. I'm going broke. I don't need you, you need me, that's why I drug you half way around the world to bring in my crops. Because you are lazy and I am not. Now get back to work you lazy wetbacks or we will ship your fat lazy criminal asses back home. Where you belong. All Hail Donald Trump. The Donald is my savior, he shall surely die for our sins and on the third day be resurrected again.

White people get to go straight to Heaven when we die, like some birthright, just so long as we believe and ask for forgiveness. That's really all that there is to it. Hell, we did such a great job with planet earth, I bet God can't wait for us to get up there and do to His place what we've done down here. I can't wait to see what animals God has up there for us to hunt and eat, I bet they will be really delicious too.  

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